


To be Ordinary and to Forget

by sleeping_kitten



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Force Bond (Star Wars), Hurt/Comfort, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Love Bites, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Top Rey (Star Wars), Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Virgin Kylo Ren, Virgin Rey (Star Wars)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:27:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23727565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleeping_kitten/pseuds/sleeping_kitten
Summary: Two months after the Battle of Crait, the bond brings Rey and Kylo Ren together.  She wants to be ordinary for a little while.  He wants to forget, just for a few minutes.So they lose themselves in each other.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 17
Kudos: 188





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> All feedback is welcome and greatly appreciated.

As Rey pulls the buns from her hair she feels it, the tingling sensation that runs up her spine signalling his presence. She lowers her arms, and looks down at her bare feet, hoping she’s wrong, that if she looks up, he won’t be there.

It’s been just over two months since the Battle of Crait. The Resistance has only just started to recover since that devastating day. And Rey still can’t believe that she was so, so, _so_ , wrong about Ben Solo.

“Rey.”

His voice is soft, as if he’s unsurprised to see her again. Perhaps even pleased.

She shakes her head, stubborn. “No.”

The fact that he’s here at all confirms her suspicion that Snoke lied about being the one to bridge their minds. If it had been his doing, surely their connection would have died with him. 

Just thinking of that disgusting fiend reminds her of the day she and Ben – and it _was_ Ben in those moments – fought side by side. It makes her heart ache to think of what could have been. Ben could have been standing by her side that day on Crait. The Resistance could have won against the First Order. The galaxy would have had peace.

Perhaps she ought to have offered her hand first. 

“Rey,” he tries again. “Please.”

It’s the ‘please’ that gets to her. The way his voice wavers slightly, like he’s unsure of how she’ll respond.

Hesitantly, Rey turns to look at him. Her eyes are drawn to the scar that now divides his face. It’s still an angry-looking red. She wonders how Snoke punished him for losing that fight. 

“Why are you here?” she asks.

Kylo Ren glances around and she remembers that he can’t see where she is. Just her.

“I could ask you the same thing,” he says quietly. “I don’t know how this… _bond_ between us works any more than you do.”

She realises that he’s staring at her, captivated by something. She looks down at herself questioningly, not sure what could be that interesting about her simple outfit.

“Your hair,” he whispers, reaching out and tucking a loose strand behind her ear. Rey is too surprised to move away. “I’ve never seen it down like this.”

Something deep inside cracks inside Rey suddenly. Maybe it’s the awed look on his face or maybe his words have gotten to her. She swallows heavily and tilts her head, silently permitting him to continue touching her hair.

His fingers continue to stroke her scalp and comb through her hair. No one has ever touched her hair like this before. It’s surprisingly soothing. She closes her eyes with a soft sigh. 

It’s quiet between them, but his sorrow, rage, and loneliness surge around her in the Force. She instinctively wants to try to calm him. She inches closer, tilting her head even more as his nails dig into her scalp a little harder. 

_I must be mad_ , she thinks. But she doesn’t ask him to stop. 

She drops her head forward, letting him move his fingers from the nape of her neck upwards.This seems to be soothing him and she likes it too, it lets her forget her own frustrations and – 

“Your training.” His fingers pause. “It isn’t going as you’d hoped.”

Her shoulders slump glumly. She knows that he can feel her exhaustion and disappointment in the Force and can’t deny it. Her days are hard, her training is difficult, and seeing the sad, defeated faces of her comrades doesn’t make it any easier. She knows that people expect a _lot_ from a Jedi, herself included. 

She opens her eyes and looks at him warily. “I’m surprised you care.”

“I care.”

When he says things like this, she sees hints of Ben Solo and she can’t help but hope… No. _No_ , if she lets him in like that, it will only lead to heartache and disappointment all over again. 

As she stares into his dark brown eyes, she knows, _dammit_ , she _knows_ that she is looking at Kylo Ren. All she has to do is scratch at the surface, just a little, and she knows that Ben Solo is there, refusing to come out for some reason that she simply can’t fathom. 

She bows her head. “I wish…”

He takes a step closer. He’s so close that she can feel his breath on her skin. He looks at her intently. “What do you wish?”

She thinks, _this is the man who listened to me and told me: “You’re not alone.”_

“I wish we could just be two ordinary people,” she whispers. “No Force. No First Order. No Resistance. Just us.”

He looks away. “I wished I was ordinary all the time when I was a child,” he says quietly. The pain rolls off of him in huge crashing waves, engulfing her as well. 

She takes his hands in hers, wanting to comfort him, but he shudders at the touch, and she feels the instant suspicion, the expectation that touch means pain. She wonders how hard it was for him to take her hand that night in the hut.

She doesn’t let go. Nor does he pull away.

“What do you wish?” she challenges. “Right now, right this second, what do you wish?”

He’s quiet for so long that she doesn’t think he’s going to answer her. She doesn’t press. She waits, stroking the back of his hand with her thumb.

He looks down at their clasped hands. “I wish…”

She thinks, _this is the man who had made me face the brutal truth_ _about my parents, the people who thought nothing of me, and yet he said: “But not to me.”_

He watches in astonishment as she brings his hands up to her lips and kisses his knuckles. She waits as he gathers his courage.

“I wish I could just forget,” he confesses, his voice shaking. “Even if it is for just a few minutes.”

Rey slides a hand behind his neck, twists her fingers up into his soft black hair and then pulls his mouth down to hers.

His eyes go wide in shock, but then he pulls her closer, wrapping his arms around her so tightly she can barely breathe. Kylo kisses her back hungrily, desperately, but eventually they have to part to catch their breath.

Their foreheads pressed together, she searches his face. 

“Can we be ordinary? Could you forget? Just for tonight?”

He’s trembling so hard that she’s scared he might back away from her. That the idea of being ordinary is beyond him. That the darkness of his life is impossible for him to forget.

Finally, finally, _finally_ , he nods.

Rey is caught off guard by the intensity of the kiss. She closes her eyes, melting against him as his tongue caresses her own. Rey finds her hands tangled in Kylo’s hair, refusing to let him stop, and pulling him even closer as though she wants to squeeze his soul into hers.

He gasps and captures her mouth again. Everything about Kylo Ren feels hot, skin, tongue, the inside of his mouth, and the heat permeates her, saturates her. She wants more.

She licks her swollen lips. “I’ve never done this before,” she whispers shyly, nervous that he will push her away.

He kisses the corner of her mouth and meets her gaze steadily. His hands run down her arms and his fingers entwine through hers. “Nor have I,” he admits. 

Letting go of his hands, Rey steps back and takes a deep breath. He watches her reverently and she slowly takes off her clothes, piece by piece. First her belt and tunic. She pulls off her arm wraps and braces. Then her undershirt and pants. When she gets to breast band and underwear, Kylo stops her.

“Are you sure?” he whispers, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “I’ve done nothing to deserve –”

Rey places a finger over his lips to hush him.

She can feel his desire for her through the Force, strong and sure, and it excites her even more. She’s nervous, but she wants him so badly.

He reaches for her and slowly removes her breast band and barely breathing, Rey watches his face as he removes her underwear. She resists the urge to cover herself with her arms when he steps back to look at her in full.

“You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in the entire galaxy,” he says with absolute sincerity. 

Rey blushes, unaccustomed to compliments, let alone such uninhibited ones. She remembers once thinking that his face was unremarkable, yet now she thinks it is one of the most intense and sexy that she has ever seen.

She grabs him and kisses him furiously again. He pulls her hips hard against his own and she can feel his erection beneath his pants. A long-held breath shudders out of her, rattling up past her ribs and making her shiver. He catches her breath in his mouth, little kisses on her top lip, her bottom lip, then another full pressing-down of his mouth, his tongue seeking hers.

She gasps, her head tilting back as he begins to kiss his ways down to her ear, sucking on her earlobe while he squeezes her ass. She rakes her nails down his back and he shivers.

He continues to kiss and suck his way down her neck, careful not to leave marks, though she wouldn’t mind if he did. He glances up at her when she thinks that. 

It’s not until later that she realises that he heard her thoughts.

When his mouth closes around her nipple, the ache, deep and low, starts to become too intense for her legs to keep her upright. She twists her fingers through his hair, gently pulling him off, and Kylo frowns in protest.

“Let’s lie down.”

He kisses her, sweet and light, and nods.

The floor of the _Falcon_ probably isn’t the most comfortable place for this, but their surroundings aren’t the same. She has no idea what he’s seeing in his quarters. 

Besides, when he positions himself between her legs and takes her other nipple in his mouth she doesn’t care about the floor. She sighs, running her fingers in his hair as his other hand gently massages her other breast.

Her heart begins to truly race when Kylo starts to kiss his way down her belly, running his fingers lightly over her hips and thighs.

“Wait!”

He stops and looks at her expectantly.

She smiles. “Take your clothes off.”

Kylo nods and takes off his surcoat. Rey can’t resist – she kisses him, promptly distracting him as he attempts to remove his tunic. She tries to help, but she also doesn’t want to take her lips off him, and he just has so _many_ layers.

But eventually, his chest his bare to her gaze again. She nuzzles his neck, licking and nipping gently as he kicks off his pants and underwear. She would never admit it to anyone, but she has fantasied about that broad chest more than a few times.

Now naked, Kylo pushes her back and nuzzles the inside of her thigh. Rey gasps loudly when he licks her clit gently and then harder.

Her breath begins to grow ragged as his tongue goes slowly around the edges of her vulva and labia, gentle and long strokes, up and down. He alternates between kissing and sucking her, and she whimpers, her back arching off the floor as he gradually increases his speed. 

She moans as he slowly slides a long finger into her. She writhes, tossing her head from side to side as he quickens his pace. Her toes curl and her thighs tremble.

Rey feels like she is flying apart under Kylo Ren’s mouth and hands, her breath coming in panting sobs, her eyes fluttering shut.

“Don’t close your eyes.”

Rey obediently opens her eyes and he kisses her on the mouth. She moans at the taste of herself on his lips. 

“Look at me.” Kylo rests his forehead against hers as he adds a second finger. He curls them slightly and she gasps.

Their eyes remained locked as he moves them in and out, slowly at first, but then faster. Rey struggles to catch her breath, but a few minutes later, the hot sensation building deep down becomes too much, too fast, too intense. 

She comes, her body tensing so hard that she traps his fingers within her. Kylo catches her mouth with his, kissing her fiercely as she screams in pleasure. 

Her head drops back and she smiles dazedly. She can feel her lust and her relaxed contentment all around them in the Force.

Then his fingers begin to move again. Rey gasps, her fingers digging into his back as her body quickly tenses up. She kisses him, albeit sloppily because she can barely concentrate as her second orgasm builds. He doesn’t seem to care, his fingers moving fast and hard within her.

Rey is certain that she makes a noise, but her vision whites out as she comes. She flops backward, smiling lazily as he withdraws his fingers slowly. 

Kylo Ren leans over her, his gaze intense as he waits for her to catch her breath. She reaches up and trails a finger over the scar she left on his face the day they first met. 

He turns his head slightly and kisses the palm of her hand gently. For once, all the anger and conflict she normally senses in Kylo is gone. Desire has replaced it.

Rey reaches between them and takes his cock, long and thick, in her small hand. His breath catches and a shiver runs through him as her hand runs up and down experimentally. 

She takes a deep breath and guides him into place. He slides his hands under her thighs, hooking her legs around his hips.

She looks up into his dark brown eyes and she kisses him lightly. She nods.

“Rey,” he says hoarsely and thrusts gently.

The thought that he is inside her, that this is actually happening, amazes her. She pulls him close and runs her hands down his back. She buries her face into his neck, adjusting to the sensation of a man inside her.

“Are you alright?” he whispers, running a hand down her body. It’s impossible to believe that this same man has tried to kill her in the past.

After a few minutes, Rey nods. “Yes.”

His thrusts are slow and gentle, and then he shifts his angle, hitting a sweet spot and she gasps loudly. Her nails dig into his back, leaving red marks on his old scars, but he doesn’t care and Rey is too far gone in her own pleasure to notice. 

He begins to thrust harder and faster and it’s even better. She moans softly with each thrust, and then slides her hands down his back to grab his ass, urging him on. She feels her body tensing up again, tighter and tighter, her eyes close, and then –

Suddenly, she feels Kylo’s hand gripping her chin. She opens her eyes and he’s staring down at her in a way that makes Rey’s breath catch.

“Open your eyes,” he orders softly. “You have such beautiful eyes. I want to see them.”

His words make her come even harder than before.

He slows his movements as she recovers, keeping their foreheads pressed together, never breaking eye contact. Rey smiles up at him and runs a finger down his cheek. He offers a small smile in return.

They move together until they synchronise their rhythm, their skin hot and damp with sweat. Kylo twists his fingers together with Rey's and pins her hands down beside her head. She gazes into his dark eyes, filled with lust for her, and presses her lips against his briefly.

“Will you come for me?” she whispers and he nods.

“Yes.”

Kylo lets go of her hands so he can hold himself up and move faster and harder. Rey grabs the back of his head, gripping his hair, forcing him to keep looking at her as he begins to climax.

They lock eyes and his thrusts become harder and more erratic. For one shining moment, they forget where one body ends and the other begins. Rey feels like her body shatters as he comes with a loud cry that sounds very much like her name.

Kylo slumps against her, utterly spent, and she wraps her arms around him, stroking his back gently as they both catch their breath. 

He slips out of her and rolls off. Kylo blinks in surprise when Rey snuggles up beside him, taking his hand in hers, and laying her head on his chest, but doesn’t push her away. Simply continues to hold her hand.

Rey clings to him, to this sliver of normality that she’s been given, pressing her cheek against his chest. She pretends that they’re just a normal couple, perhaps living in an apartment on Coruscant and…

“Rey.”

She opens her eyes and looks up at him.

“I know what it’s like when people expect you to be the perfect Jedi.” His face darkens at the memory. “Don’t let them do that to you.”

Rey sits up, surprised by the vehemence in his voice. He sits up as well, but doesn’t meet her eyes. He looks down at their still entwined hands. 

“Be who you want.”

She raises an eyebrow. “Curious words from someone who wants me to join the Dark side.”

He inclines his head in acknowledgment. She can sense the anger in him as he fights to push away old memories.

Rey thinks of the vision she saw of Ben Solo with his grandfather’s lightsaber raised, fighting at her side. The sense that he was completely and utterly _with_ her, that they were truly _one_. She can’t help it. 

“Ben –”

“Don’t.” He turns his face away and lets go of her hand. “Please.”

Rey bows her head. “I know.” She wipes a tear away. “Thank you.”

He surprises her again by leaning over and kissing her passionately. She wraps her arms around his neck, holding him close.

Then he vanishes.

****

In his quarters on the _Steadfast_ , Kylo Ren slowly gets to his feet. The only evidence that the encounter wasn’t a figment of his imagination is Rey's scent is all over him. For a short, sweet, precious time he was able to forget the misery, pain, and suffering that haunts his mind. He closes his eyes and inhales deeply, committing the smell to memory. 


	2. Forget Your Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren wakes from a nightmare that leaves him with tears on his face. When Rey tries to comfort him, he has trouble letting her touch him. But she is patient, and slowly, he can stand to feel her skin on his. And then kiss her. And then...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally posted as the sequel to the first chapter, but as I was working on the third story, I decided to condense it all into one. I lost all the comments and kudos doing so, but now it works better. Them's the breaks. So if you could please comment or leave a kudos after reading, I'd truly appreciate it.

Kylo Ren wakes up screaming. 

The memory of the dream is gone before he even realises that he’s in his own bed. All he knows is that his breath is impossibly loud in his ears and his heartbeat is deafening. Desperate to calm his racing heart, he stumbles out of bed and despite his trembling legs, he starts to pace. 

A shiver runs through him, but this one feels different.

He pauses mid-step. He hasn’t seen her in almost a month, not since their peculiar bond brought them together and he took comfort in her. He turns around.

Her appearance surprises him. Rey looks dishevelled; there are leaves in her hair and mud on her boots. 

But to him, she looks beautiful.

“What happened?” She looks him up and down, her brow creasing in concern. “You look terrible.” She reaches out her fingers brushing against his arm, but Kylo instinctively flinches away. Touch means pain, pain means punishment, punishment means he’s failed, and failure means he’s a disappointment…

He can sense that she’s worried about him. That baffles him – that she’s worried about him. Nobody worries about _him_. He looks away. Anywhere but her sweet, concerned face.

“It’s nothing,” Kylo snaps, but then catches himself. Her compassion, bewildering as it is, does not deserve his anger. “Just a dream.”

To his continued confusion, Rey steps closer, but is mindful not to touch him. “Tell me?”

He rolls his eyes. “I don’t even remember what it was about.”

“It must have been bad,” she says quietly. “It made you cry.”

His head snaps up and he touches his cheek, discovering that it is still damp with tears. He’s horrified and humiliated that anyone, even Rey, should see him with tears on his face. Kylo backs away, stumbling over his own feet in his haste to get away from her. He slams into a wall, trapped. There’s nowhere to escape to and he sinks to the ground. Her compassion is surrounding him in the Force and it sets his teeth on edge. Such sentiment is non-existent in his life and –

 _This is not behaviour befitting of the Supreme Leader of the First Order_ , he scolds himself furiously, digging his nails into the palm of his hand in an effort to clear his mind.

Suddenly there is a shift in the Force. All he can feel is heartrending loneliness. For a second Kylo thinks it is his, but no. It belongs to Rey.

It distracts him from his own self rage and he looks at her in surprise. She slides down beside him, still careful to keep a small distance between them. Her face is so sad. Kylo waits for her to speak.

“I miss my parents,” she whispers finally, looking down at her hands. “They didn’t even want me, but I miss them.”

A normal person would hug her to console her, he knows. It was so easy to touch her last time, so natural, but in the shadow of whatever the wretched nightmare was, it’s hard now. Kylo wants to comfort her, really he does, but all he has to offer her is the truth. 

“I want you,” he reminds her softly. “Nothing will change that.”

Rey closes her eyes as if cherishing his words. He can feel how his words flood her with warmth, with a sense of belonging, even if it is to her supposed enemy. She opens her eyes and turns to face him.

“I need to touch you,” she whispers. “Please?”

He remembers their last time, the sweet feel and taste of her. With a shaky breath, Kylo nods.

She quickly undoes her hair, shaking out the leaves, and her hair falls over her shoulders and around her face. Not taking her eyes away from his, Rey wriggles out of her clothes and he does the same. He can only stare at her, spellbound. Naked, she kneels between his legs. 

Rey takes his hand and kisses his wrist. He tenses, gritting his teeth. Not even for her can he cast off his conditioning, can he relax enough to –

She holds his hand tenderly in hers and brushes feather-light strokes over his palm with her fingertips, watching his face for his reaction. Much to his dismay, his body remains tense. But Rey doesn’t seem upset or annoyed. Simply continues with her gentle ministrations.

Kylo stares at their hands and then looks at her face. She smiles at him, sweet and patient. He can sense how content she is with this simple gesture between them. _Is this all she wanted_ , he wonders.

Then he kisses her, soft and quick, on the lips. He feels shocked that he even dared do it.

Rey looks equally surprised for a few seconds, but then her smile widens. She looks back down at his hand and begins kissing each fingertip. This time, Kylo doesn’t flinch.

She kisses his rough palm, almost licking it, and he watches as she continues kissing up his arm, across his shoulder, up his neck, and finally to his lips.

Rey kisses him slowly, her tongue gently moving against his, and her fingers thread through his soft, dark hair, and when her kisses begin to grow more insistent, he finds he doesn’t mind. He quite thoroughly enjoys the way her lips feel against his, the way her tongue runs over his teeth. He likes sucking on her lower lip and the breathy sigh she makes when he does so. 

Abruptly she stops and studies his face. He stares back at her, his chest heaving.

“I hate that you have nightmares,” she says softly.

Kylo immediately tries to pull away from her.

Rey grabs him, her strength surprising him, and yanks him back to face her. She leans forward and whispers in his ear. “I’m going to fuck you so hard that you won’t be able to stop dreaming about it.”

His eyes go wide. Kylo Ren isn’t sure what he was expecting Rey of Jakku to say, but it certainly wasn’t _that_. 

She wraps a hand around his hard cock. His breath hitches, and he’s certain that the expression on his face borders on idiotic. 

As one hand squeezes the base of his cock, Rey holds his gaze as she slowly licks the palm of her other hand and wraps it around him. She slowly moves it up and down a few times and then she runs her thumb in circles over the leaking head. 

She strokes and squeezes, gently at first, but gradually her hand begins to move a little faster and firmer. Kylo loses himself in the twisting and swirling motions of her hands, his head tilting back against the wall behind him as he thrusts shallowly into her hand. 

“Kylo.”

He opens his eyes – he hadn’t even realised that he’d closed them – and Rey smiles up at him. He trails a finger down her face, awed by her warm hazel eyes. They are the most beautiful thing about her in his opinion.

Not taking her eyes away from his, she leans in and puts her mouth on his throbbing cock. Her tongue is hot and slick and he shudders in a breath as she runs it over his length, licking him wet before she begins to eagerly suck. 

Rey draws him into her mouth, just the tip at first, her mouth stretching wider to accommodate his girth. He watches as inch after inch slowly goes into her hot mouth, squeezing around him wetly. She reaches around to squeeze his ass as her head bobs up and down.

When her teeth drag very, very lightly along the underside, Kylo gasps, drawing on all his strength not to come then and there. She pauses, watching him, her fingers running up and down the inside of his thighs, waiting for him to get a hold of himself, her lips lingering at the swollen head.

“I love the way you taste,” she whispers huskily. Rey playfully licks the underside of him again.

Kylo grabs her and pushes her on her back, pinning her down as he entwines his fingers with hers. She blinks in surprise, pleased, and then smiles wickedly up at him. She wriggles a little underneath him, letting him know just how excited she is. 

Kylo kisses the hollow of her throat, nudging her head slightly to the side as he kisses upwards and sucks on her earlobe. She shivers, breathing heavily. 

He kisses every inch of Rey's bare skin he can reach, soft presses of his lips and tiny flicks of his tongue seek out the sensitive spots on her body. He wants to learn and savour and cherish them all - the tiny spot behind her ear that makes her sigh, the ones in her delicate wrists that make her arch up against him, the dip of her clavicle that makes her catch her breath.

He kisses his way down her neck, slowly licking and kissing down to her breasts. He licks the skin around Rey's nipples, but never touching them. Just teasing. She shifts restlessly under his lips, and he can feel how desperately she wants more. He continues to hold her down as he slowly explores her lightly tanned skin with his lips and tongue. Kylo looks up at her.

“I want to leave a mark on you.”

With wide eyes, Rey nods her assent and he lets go of her arms.

He starts just below her breasts, sucking a small bruise at the top of her belly. She gasps loudly, wrapping her arms around his shoulders to hold him in place. She reluctantly releases him so he can continue his way down, stopping every couple of centimetres to suck another mark. He listens to her ragged breathing and the little noises she makes as he sucks hard and then gently licks the new spot before moving on. 

He leaves a line of marks from the base of her breastbone to the beginning line of her pubic hair. Rey smiles as she runs her fingers along it and he delights in the pleased look on her face. Kylo feels something slip through their bond then, warm and comforting, and his mind reaches for it instinctively.

She guides his hand between her legs and looks at him expectantly. Kylo is more than happy to oblige her. He kisses her, his tongue sliding against hers, kissing until they were both out of breath.

He begins to rub her clit gently at first, and Rey's head drops back. “Yes,” she sighs, her hips lifting to give him better access. “Yes, like that.”

Rey moans at the touch. When his hand slides further, and one finger slowly slides inside her, she moans again, even louder. Kylo can’t help but wonder where she is, if there is anyone nearby that might overhear her, and discover her in this state.

He groans softly, nuzzling her face. “You’re so wet.”

“What do you expect?” she huffs wryly, rubbing her face against his. “I’ve been thinking about you every night since we were last together.”

He’s surprised at how much this admission of hers pleases him. Kylo pushes another long finger in, and crooks them, and she shudders with each coaxing movement. Her breath begins to quicken and Rey writhes against him as he speeds up. As his fingers brush against that sweet spot inside her, her breaths become hot and uneven against his skin, and occasionally she pants hard enough that it comes out as short, broken moans. He turns his head to capture these in his mouth greedily.

Within minutes she clenches around his fingers and cries out, her body spasming in pleasure.

Looking down at her as she tries to catch her breath, all he can think is this: He would give her the galaxy. In his eyes, she is a goddess. If only, if _only_ , she would stand at his side. He kisses her cheek. “You are so beautiful when you come.”

Rey hums vaguely and threads her fingers through his hair. Then she pulls on it, and it fills his body with heat, and in that moment, Kylo wants her more than he’s ever wanted anything. 

He adds a third finger and she groans, his thumb running over her clit, and she writhes as his long fingers fill her. She is so wet and slick that his fingers move easily as he thrusts them in and out of her. 

“Rey,” he says softly, wanting to see her eyes. Her beautiful hazel eyes. It’s almost scary to think that he could have broken her spirit by calling her nothing. But he can see now that no amount of darkness could ever extinguish the glow of her soul’s inner light.

Kylo can tell it’s a great effort, but she holds his gaze as he makes her come again and again.

Trembling, she slumps against him, and he slowly withdraws his fingers with a wet pop, placing them in his mouth to taste her. Still panting, sweat trickling down her brow, Rey watches him with wide eyes as he sucks on his fingers.

She reaches for him, bringing his lips to hers once more. He thinks he will never tire of the feel of her mouth against his.

“I need to feel you inside me,” she whispers and crawls on top of him. Kylo gasps in pleasure as Rey begins to slowly lower herself onto his cock. His fingers dig into Rey's slender waist, marvelling at the tightness, aching for more, and wanting it to last as long as possible. She rocks slowly at first, and then faster and harder. 

He props himself up so he can reach her breasts with his mouth. Kylo captures a nipple with his mouth and Rey hisses, grabbing him by his broad shoulders, her nails digging in tightly. He sucks and licks and bites gently, first one and then the other. 

He can feel her getting tighter and tighter around his cock as the pressure within her builds. He runs his fingers up and down her back, urging her on. 

"I love feeling you this deep inside of me,” Rey says, placing her hand over her lower belly to feel him inside her as he thrusts up. She sinks onto him, over and over, and Kylo relishes the feel of each inch of him being so tightly encased.

He watches her face in fascination as her orgasm overtakes her. Every time her lips part on a gasp, he muffles it by sweeping his tongue into her mouth. Rey closes her eyes and kisses him back almost deliriously, and Kylo thrills in the knowledge that he is the one who is undoing her so completely.

“Come with me,” she gasps, clutching him tighter, arching her body, and pressing her forehead to his to stare into his eyes intently as she begins to climax. “Come with me.”

Kylo feels himself begin to unravel, gazing into her lust-filled eyes, and he can feel her rush of pride through their bond as she conquers him like this. He thrusts harder and when Rey begins to scream, he presses his mouth to hers to catch it.

Kylo cries out into her mouth and she catches it in turn as he comes. He shudders violently, gasping her name over and over, and they cling to each other desperately.

He slumps backwards, utterly spent, and Rey collapses on top of him, panting so hard she shakes. When she finally calms down, she kisses the corner of his mouth and moves off of him. 

Just like last time, Rey surprises him by snuggling up against him, curling her body around his. He feels shy as he puts an arm around her, holding her close. 

Kylo enjoys the peace between them, the warm, comforting weight of Rey against his body. She starts running a finger over his chest, idly tracing patterns. The sensation is soothing and his eyelids begin to droop as he grows drowsy.

“I’ve been watching some of the more risqué HoloNet channels for, um… inspiration.”

Kylo quirks an eyebrow at the confession. Less than a month ago, neither of them had any experience with this, and now here she is, making notes. 

Rey kisses the curve of his neck. “I wanted to be better prepared for the next time.”

He is suddenly wide awake. “You assumed a next time?”

She stops and looks up at his face, suddenly uncertain. “Didn’t you?”

He falters, not sure how to answer her. This bond leaves him too exposed, too vulnerable. Kylo knows he can’t lie to her, nor does he want to. Not to Rey. She is quite possibly the one person in the universe he cares about more than himself. And she wants him.

“I had hoped,” he finally admits. “I hoped for a next time.”

He can sense that she’s very pleased to hear this. Rey props herself up on an elbow and looks down at him. “Listen to me.” 

She sounds so serious. He sits up, eyeing her warily, already knowing that whatever she’s about to say, he’s not going to want to hear.

“Come with me.”

Kylo leans away from her. Words said in a moment of passion now fill the pit of his stomach with dread. “What?”

Smiling earnestly, Rey kisses the corner of his mouth. “Please? There are people that care about you and –”

He goes very still. “Stop it.”

“Just forget what Snoke told you.” She wraps her arms around him, burying her face against his chest. “He was a liar. The bond, it’s _ours_. He didn’t do it.”

He stares blankly over her head. Even though he killed his old Master, Snoke was right about a great many things. 

_They don’t care about you. Just their precious Resistance._

Kylo looks into those beautiful eyes that he – he admits this much to himself – adores so much. They are pleading him now. In Rey, he can see someone who will always fight for him. Always protect him. And despite everything he’s done, perhaps even –

As gently as he can, he pushes her off him and gets to his feet. 

“Stop,” he says quietly, backing away from her. “Please.”

Stricken, Rey opens her mouth to protest, but then she vanishes.

****

Kylo Ren looks down at the leaves that fell out of Rey's hair. He hears the echo of Snoke's growling voice in his head. _You’re just a child with a mask._ He stares at them for a long, long time. _You’re just a child with a mask._

He is no **child** now.

He picks them up.

****

Analysis reveals that the leaves come from the planet Vendaxa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vendaxa is featured in the canon comic ‘The Loyalty Test’ in Star Wars Adventures 30  
> set between The Last Jedi and The Rise of Skywalker. In it, Kylo Ren and General Hux investigate the planet Vendaxa after there are reports of a suspected Resistance base there.
> 
> * * * 
> 
> Third chapter coming soon!


End file.
